I posted on twitter @rabidwolf21, my "Top 5 rules for Dads and Their Relationships" and how it affects their children. People don't understand that your child watches, hears and feels everything you do.
I won't go in depth on all of them but most are from personal experiences that I will share.
The rules are:
#1 Never disrespect your child's mother.
#2 Don't interfere in the child's relationship with in-laws are your parents.
#3 Don't involve your kids in drama: for example cheating or drinking with your buddies. I just don't like it when people "step out" meaning cheat during their relationships and start bringing the kids with them. It isn't right on many levels and your kids view of you and the other parent will change. No child needs to deal with that nor see someone drink all day and lose money playing pool.
#4 If you are a single parent discuss how the other person will treat your kids.
Have a conversation with the other adult when bringing kids to a new household. Explain how you do things and ask for their feedback. Listen to them.
#5 Don't forget your priorities. You are a parent first and don't forget that you control the lives of people that depend on you.
The first and the second rules are those I fully believe in. It worked for me and I want to thank my mother for making me understand it. I didn't when I was younger but now as a parent I fully get where she was coming from.
My parents marriage didn't work at all. It happens and you deal with it but I had anger towards my father. I didn't like how he talked to my mother or looked at her or how he treated me. Now he wasn't this absolutely horrible person but just enough for me to keep an anger against him for over a decade.
My mother after the divorce didn't bad mouth him once. She pushed for me to see him more and talk and I wasn't having any of it. In addition I was real close to his side of the family especially my grandparents. I love my grandparents all of them but I was closer to his side.
I didn't see them for a long time due to a lot of reasons and on being my anger towards him but because of my mother I decided to give it a chance and I'm better for it. Now that I had my daughter I made the decision to have him fully participate in her life if he chooses to. I will not stand in the way and you shouldn't either.
